The Longing
The Longing is Domestic Noire exploring themes of love, loss, secrets and betrayal.
"By the time I'd met Anthony I'd lived ten years longer than I thought I'd might have. I didn't end my life at seventeen because essential I'm a coward."
The opening line sees Jen begin to narrate her story. It starts one crisp January night with her stillborn daughter named Sarah, and ends a year later with a newborn. What happens in the intervening time will change Jen's life forever. Jen being the storyteller, we don't really know how reliable she is. Is she mad, bad or sad? Victim or perpetrator?
Our past is a constant shadow to our here and now. Jen can't outrun her past, and nor will kindness heal old family wounds. Jen is desperate to be a mother, a role appearing elusive for her. When Anthony commits suicide, Jen is thrown into an emotional abyss and utilises being the grieving widow to her advantage. When an old friend, Ella, re-enters her life and shares a secret, their lives will never be the same. Jen's new best friends are Ella and Rosie, all very different people. A duplicitous triangular friendship is formed ~ each knowing secrets about the other. It is only a matter of time before they are spilled into the open with devastating consequences.
So, how far would you go to twist a friend's problem to your solution? It's chilling what you can hide in plain sight.
Where did I get the idea for The Longing come from?
Once upon a time I was a Midwife, followed by many years as a health visitor working with vulnerable families, in South East England and in East London. Later becoming a manager, followed by a role as lecturer. Working at the proverbial 'coal face' you're privileged to be a witness to family life at the best and worst of times. I'm intrigued by family dynamics and the difficulties that arise when relationships become problematic, especially as root causes are often found in childhood. My experience lends credibility, and a rich source of observations about women and family life to the storyline.
I'm also intrigued by women and their friendships. Personally, I treasure my female friendships ~ women I have known for decades for the most part. I know who I can call in the middle of the night if I'm in trouble. I know who can throw a good party, and I know who I can trust with my secrets. Before you ask, none of my characters are based on my real life friends ~ they have however provided one or two vignettes in the novel. I'm not saying any more than that!
Are my character based on people I know?
The short answer of course is no, they're not. However, I am a people watcher and usually love nothing better than to sit in a cafe or on public transport for example, seemingly minding my own business, and watch the world go by. Observing interactions between people, body language and so forth. All in the name of research of course! Two characters in my novel I first saw on the Central Line in London. The pair encapsulated minor, but important characters I had in mind. They sat next to me, one barefoot, the other carrying a pair of Louboutin shoes. It was the shoes that caught my eye initially as I'd never been this close to a posh, expensive shoes before! Intrigued by the two women, I started to eavesdrop on their conversation. Perfect! Everyone else, including Jen, is a figment of my imagination.
Where is The Longing set?
The London scenes are loosely based on Hoxton and any scenes depicted are fictitious. Hopefully they capture the essence of my experience of working in the area.
The Kent scenes are loosely based on Rochester and Strood (an hour from London) for Jen and her family. Cobham lies a few miles from Rochester, for Jen's in-laws.
Lily's home town is based on Deal and Walmar on the Kent coast. I needed the contrast in settings to reflect different characters and situations. Deal Pier, Walker Castle and the esplanade all feature. Naturally I have taken some artistic license in my depictions of the area.